This is a Completely True Story

This is me. Ice skating on the job site.  Not entirely intentional. I won't deny that I love ice. I love to slide on it, I like to break it with my steel toe-d boots, heck I even like to eat it. (Freezer ice of course, not the stuff on the ground) But I shouldn't be messing around on the ice up here because the bosses don't like it when you get hurt on the job because it costs them money. Though there I was in front of the washed sand pile (yet, again) making sure not to swallowed up by the ominous quick sand monster that I only just discovered, when I realized I was standing on a frozen lake.  Perhaps lake is the wrong word, but I feel pond is also wrong and puddle?  Well, puddle just doesn't do this body of water justice.  I'm sticking with lake. So, I started treading carefully because I can just imagine slipping and impaling myself with the shovel, though I don't know if that is entirely possible, maybe a cut or a gash, but impaling may be a bit extreme...  But then I begin to slide around more WHEN SUDDENLY, I realized this story was going absolutely no where.   Basically I played on the ice for a minute and then I just got my samples and went back to the lab... huh.  Well, for the sake of my 11 followers, I will create an ending for you.
*ahem* I was sliding around when suddenly the ground opened up and the huge gust of wind started sucking me into the dark hole. I tried stabbing the shovel into the ground to free myself from the unexpected pull of the sudden wormhole, but it was to no avail.  I threw my bucket in the hole and it disappeared from sight.  I was screaming but nobody could here me over the grinding of the crusher.  I could see the headlines the following day. 
"21 Year-Old Sucked into Sand Wormhole:
Never To Be Seen Again."
When suddenly I heard a high pitched cry coming from the hole. It was hard to hear over all the sucking of the wormhole and what not but the cry grew louder and louder and right as I was pulled into the hole, a magestic unimoosgon scooped me up.  [Which later I found out is a unicorn mixed with a moose-dragon hybrid. And is, in every sense of the word: magestic.]       

 BEHOLD!!
THE UNIMOOSGON!!
The Unimoosgon flew up from the abyss of the wormhole and scooped me up before I was sucked into a parallel universe.  We landed with a thud safely on the frozen sand.  I gazed up in wonder at the beast in front of me.
I then had the following conversation with the Unimoosgon:
Me: Wow!! You saved me from the washed sand worm hole!!
Unimoosgon: MeeMeeMeeMeeMeeMee
[which in unimoosgon means: Oh it was nothing, that is what I am bred for.]
Me: Is there anyway I can repay you?
Unimoosgon: MeeMeeMeeMeeMee Mee-Mee
[Yes, I will be needing the next 20 of your following paychecks]
Me: Ummm... I kind of need those.
Unimoosgon: MEEMEEEMEEMEEMEEMMMEEEMMEMEMEMEMEMMEMEME&$%^!!!
[WHY YOU UNGRATEFUL, WORTHLESS PIECE OF UNIMOOSGON POO!! I JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE AND NOW YOU AREN'T EVEN GOING TO THANK ME PROPERLY?! I OUTTA OPEN THAT WORMHOLE BACK UP AND LOCK YOU IN IT FOREVER!! &$%^!!!]
Me: Ok, Ok Unimoosgon, I will give you my next 20 paychecks!! Please don't put me back in the wormhole!!
Unimoosgon: MeeMeeMeeMeeMeeMeeMee!
[You have chosen wisely young padawon, I will have my secretary set you up with my paypal information and we will just have the money wired through that.  Live Long and Prosper.]

and with that the Unimoosgon was gone.  Along with my next 20 paychecks.

1 comment:

No need to stalk in silence, leave a comment.
do it.

There was an error in this gadget