Loam If You Want To

this is a true story. I went to sleep at 5:30 pm last night. woke up at 10:05 pm, took a shower ate some grapes and yogurt and was back to sleep by 10:35 pm. Off to work at 5 am and I'm feeling pretty good.
It's looking delightfully cloudy outside and the temp is hanging around 66 degrees which is beautiful compared to the high temps we've have this week. Makes sampling the crusher a lot less painful. So I decided to share a glimpse into mine and Flanders text messages.  Don't worry, nothing too kinky. (not this time anyway...) Mostly, I just think we are genius poets.
Me:
Dear Landon, I love you.
Dear Landon, do you love me too?
If you do,
Say its true,
That you'll always be my Flanders boo.
Flanders:
I do love you Whitney Dear, so
much that it brings a tear.
When I look at you all I
want to do is leer.
I  would do anything for you,
even ride a rabid deer.
Although, I don't know if I would
try a beer....
I love loving you from year to year.
you are my favorite my Whitney dear.
Me:
That was the sweetest thing,
It made me want to sing.
It reminded me of when you gave me my ring.
Oh what happiness you bring,
you are the wind beneath my wing.

and then he didn't answer me for a whole day so I had to send another one...

Me:
Remember how you promised me a poem?
Now I am crying out on the loam*.
And my trucks rims aren't even chrome.
I feel like I am in Stephen King's Dome.
And I don't like garden gnomes.
I need a new comb, the color of sea foam.
I want to go home. And roam.
Flanders:
I am so sorry that
I haven't written you a rhyme, to be honest
I've been so busy I haven't had the time.
The thought of you crying
produces tears as if I sucked on a lime.
For making you weep I ought to be charged with a crime
and also be fined at least a dime.
Me:
Oh baby, you sure make me smile,
and it was quite a wait, but it
was worth the while,
I almost dropped my phone to the tile,
man that would create a trial,
and accident I'd have file,
but that's not my style.
For you I'd dial, or walk to the Nile,
and think of you mile by mile.

Genius, right?
*Also, I feel as though I need to explain the word "loam" up there.  I used to read this blog on Sparknotes about this guy who was reading Twilight and blogging about it chapter by chapter. It's the most amazing thing I have ever read. And he went off about how Stephanie Meyer used the word loam in a sentence and he had to google the meaning. it means:
loam  (lm)
n.
1. Soil composed of a mixture of sand, clay, silt, and organic matter.
What he has to say about it is hilarious and now I use the word whenever possible. Such as, texting poetry to my husband.  Here is the excpert from the blog:

"As he runs, the other werewolves share mind-thoughts. They bicker and tease one another. Wolf Leah and Wolf Jacob race to the meeting. He digs his nails "into the loam" and runs off. Loam? Really? Loam means dirt, or earth. (I just Googled it.) But why use that word? Better question: Why would Jacob use that word? The only people to use the word loam are hoity-toity writers who think they're cool, or people with speech impediments asking for a loan or foam.
At the meeting, Seth tells everyone that Charlie is upset. Carlisle called Charlie and told him that Bella has come down with a "rare disease" while in South America and she must be quarantined. (Anyone else notice that the names Charlie and Carlisle are similar? I'm surprised Jacob's dad's name isn't Chisels, Char-Island, or Car-chase.) Jacob, perched on the loam, suspects that this means Bella has been transformed and the Cullens have begun using a cover story, not knowing that the real reason Bella is hiding is that she's pregnant with a fetus who probably already has armpit hair.
Jacob, while standing on the loam, argues that this means war. The treaty has been violated, so they should all kill the Cullens. The other werewolves, all of whom are on loam, don't see it that way. They don't think the Cullens are a threat. And the treaty says nothing about a human who wishes to be bitten. So Sam says everyone should just chill out.
Jacob, remaining on the loam, doesn't like this, and he bounds away, running across the loam urgently. After a while, he transforms back into a human, walks up the loamy road to his house, and thinks about his plan to kill the Cullens.
I'm cheering."
I feel as though I need to wrap this post up, but if you ever want to read the blog, click HERE and it will take you there. Seriously? Best thing ever.

2 comments:

  1. I had no idea what a loam was. I had kind of an idea that you and Flanders were kinky via text but it was nice to see poems for today.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You two are good poets, I will call ya next time i need a poem for sure !

    ReplyDelete

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