cat calls are good for a girl's self image.

I was walking out of a gas station tonight with my diet coke and some Jolly Ranchers when some hormonal high school toddlers gave me an "ow ow!" while hanging out the window of their mother's Chevy Tahoe.  How do I know it was their mother's? The pink hibiscus sticker on the back.  And if it's their sticker? Well, then I believe the cat call I thought  was directed at me must have been for the bald man behind me.  Pff. What am I saying? I was rockin' my cowgirl boots. Of course they were hollering at me. And I needed it.  Sometimes that's all it takes. I don't even care that they were probably 17 and hopped up on Lucky Charms.  Does that make me a cougar?

Oh, back to the boots...the bald man behind me in line was admiring them and said, "I really like your boots."  But bald man was a tad soft spoken and I thought a completely different asset of mine was complimented. I imagine this is how my face looked...
But then I realized he was looking at my feet. Though I probably would have given him more credit as a man if he hadn't been complimenting my footwear...

365 Days Already?

Holy. Crap. No one knows how the last year went by so fast, but it is in fact our ONE YEAR anniversary. I just can't believe it. We celebrated this weekend by going to Flander's mom's house in Heber and swimming for 5 hours where I sacrificed my shoulders and chest to the Sun God.
Don't feel bad for me. I don't deserve your pity.
Then we went over to Park City to ride the Alpine Slide.  It's this slide that runs down the mountain side on yellow sleds.  You ride up on the ski lift that is going 10 times slower than it does during the winter and get to enjoy the scenery.  It's actually quite relaxing.  We also saw the World's Fattest Squirrel.  It was fantastic. We had just bought some slushies because it was a whopping 98 degrees outside and we get to the ski lift and hear you're not allowed to have food or drink.  So we put them in my purse.  That's really the only reason I have a purse.  Just in case I need to hide food. Amiright, ladies?
such a nice little joy ride.

Now when we got to the top, of course I needed to to a little trash talking to my husband of one year.  Tell him he stands no chance and belittle him in front of everyone.  That's the magic of marriage.  You can do that as a way of affection.  And I totally backed up my trash talk by smokin' him.
He's a good loser.
(also we decided my track was faster. and by "we" I mean him.)
The plan after the Alpine Slide was to go walk up and down Main St. in Park City, but there was some catering convention going on and there were all these tables in the streets and all the stores and restaurants were closed for the evening.  We were kinda bummed (and I was suddenly feeling the affects of my skin condition and having a bit of a dramatic moment over it) so we headed back to our car to find a different place to get some foodage.  Landon knew of this place he had been to once, but he couldn't remember the name or where it was, but that's where he wanted to go for dinner.  This is what he said, "I don't know if I will be able to find it though...oh. there it is." bam. right in front of us.  And it was delish.  AND our waitress gave us 36% off our check for our anniversary. So sweet of her. 
I'm in love with those glasses.
By the time we were done with dinner and grabbed our stuff from his momma's house, it was 9:30 and I had to be at work early the next morning, or else we would have hit up the shops again.  But I got off early today and came home to have the best anniversary a girl could ask for.  He rubbed aloe vera all over my shoulders and let me lay on the couch and read while he did the dishes.  I even got a nap in there.  Naps are a rare occurrence these days and also why I am up right now instead of being passed out next to said husband.  He cooked me an amazing dish of spaghetti and meatballs all by himself and tickled my arm while we watched Dumb and Dumber.
#gourmet
After we let dinner settle for a bit, we broke out the top tier from our wedding cake and cut ourselves a piece and fed it to each other.  I may have smashed my piece in Landon's face because we didn't do that on our wedding day. He wasn't as entertained as I was.


I look a tad mischievous already... he shoulda seen it coming.
Now last year, we set off those sky lanterns like in Tangled at the end of our reception.  It was completely magical and my mom saved us a big red heart shaped on for our anniversary.  We ran outside and lit her up and set her free in a hurry.  We have a lot of big trees and stuff around us and there is this massive wild fire down the road a ways so if this thing was gonna light up the place we didn't want to be held accountable. It was fun to watch it float up into the evening sky wrapped in the arms of my man, thinking about how happy we were one year ago today and how happy he has kept me everyday since.



probably the worst picture ever.  the flash on my camera is deadly.
Sometimes I stare at this kid and think how weird it is we've been married a year.  And how I never expected to land myself such a hottie.  But beyond his God-like features and rock hard abs, there is the sweetest, most selfless person I have ever met. He found a way passed my insecurities and my obnoxiousness and brought out the person I longed to be.  He's changed me in ways I never thought possible and I owe him everything for it.  Everyone on this planet deserves what I have.  And I think we'll all get our hands on it at some point.  Whether you met at a bar after a funeral, or in an empty showroom apartment.  If you're celebrating your anniversary or sending him off to Chile for two years.  Nothing in life or love is perfect, but that's the best part.  Keeps things interesting, ya know?

go HERE if you wanna read about our awesome day one year ago.

Here's What's Up...

nothing. and it's amazing.
actually, I'm just sitting here blogging (of course) while I watch Flanders put together his new bookcase.  If you'll recall, we have been in this exact scenario before. here. I'm such a good helper. and by "helper" I mean company. at least this time Flanders has tools from this century so he doesn't have to do it all by hand.
(I'm in a bathrobe. judge me. I don't care.)
Our one year anniversary is coming up on Sunday and I got Landon a bookcase and he got me a nightstand. We're so romantic. But we are very excited about it.
Yesterday, we actually went out with friends and had a bonfire. A rare occurrence these days. But it was good to catch up with those hosers.
Take notice of Beiber-Hair over there.  It won't be like that for long.  Another anniversary gift he had to have was this kit from Costco that has all these legit hair cutting tools. I believe his words were, "think of how much money we'll save if you just cut my hair from now on."  Which technically will be true.... the kid spends a good $30 bucks on a hair cut.  Me? I prefer Dollar Cuts. Sort of a wham bam thank you m'am kinda deal. But Flanders doesn't trust any place that has "sales" on hair cuts ever since he got accidental steps on one side of his head from a chick at a beauty school. Anyways, he thinks we'll save money.  You want to know what I think? I think he'll get one hair cut from me, decide to never let me do it again, go back to the $30 hair cuts AND we just dropped $40 on a hair cut kit from Costco.  So no. I don't think we'll save money in the long run.  I only say this because the only hair cut I have ever given was to my dog once a long time ago.  After that one hair cut my mom didn't let me near the dog with scissors ever again. 
It's ok though, I'm just writing this one down so when I want to buy something frivolous that he doesn't think is a good idea, I'll just say, "remember that hair cut kit?" and then I'll get anything I want.
good thing I like this guy....

and now for some pictures of cats...
Landon and I can't stop laughing about this picture.  This is what he just told me, "I just think of this cat that's like, half retarded because it has eaten too much rat poison or something and it's never had Fancy Feast before and it's so excited as it lifts it's head up out of it's little box and has drool coming out of it's mouth and is all, 'ERMAHGERD!! FERNCER FERST!'"

This one...is just weird. and hilarious.
hairless cats freak me out.


yep.

Finally Home.

it's official. we are moved into our new place, and out of the old one.  We just spent our evening cleaning, cleaning, cleaning.  And I am proud to say we have locked the doors and washed our hands of the provo apartment.  Though I felt a twinge of sadness as I looked one last time at our empty home. Our first home. Lots of good memories and a great place to begin a life together.  That sadness pretty much evaporated when I saw the pony out front when we got back to our new place.  It's not "home" yet though.  It still feels like we're just in a hotel or something.  What I'm saying is, I don't feel quite comfortable enough yet to just walk around in my underwear eating chocolate frosting straight out of the jar. Not that I ever did that at our old place.....
I don't have much to report as far as this weekend goes.  We just moved. All day everyday. We are exhausted. My dad has been selling pesticides out in Ohio for the past couple months and had to come back for work for a couple days and what did he do with his Father's Day weekend? He taxied mine and Landon's crap back and forth in 95 degree weather and smiled the whole time.  I think this is why my dad is the best.
You don't have to tell me.  I know I look amazing.
Oh! So here is a story.  I went to get the oil changed in my company truck today at the Jiffy Lube by my apartment.  I was just hanging out in the waiting room watching re-runs of Family Feud when the dude came in to talk to me about what they were going to be doing.  I look at this kid and suddenly realize he is the younger brother of this bodaggot I dated for like, a week.  Then said bodaggot started dating my roommate for like, a week. What a douche-canoe. Still bitter about that one.  Anyway, I'm completed caught off guard because of all my exes (if he can even be considered that) he is the last I would ever want reconnect with.  So I'm trying to not make eye contact and kind of slant my head at the floor hoping he doesn't recognize me.  Not that he would. I think I talked to him for all of five minutes when we all went camping once.  He was being super nice to me, looking back it's probably because he thought I was handicapped.  What with all my twitching and spastic speech patterns and junk. I think it's safe to say I win this week's Awkward Award.  Oh well, I've got the rest of the week to redeem myself...or outdo myself. It's up in the air right now.  
night poodles.

Times Like These....

call for random cat videos.  Not a huge cat fan here, (as I am sure you could tell from a couple posts ago) but this one is amazing. basically, cat got into the office I used to work at, my boss told me to catch it in a garbage can, and the cat freaked out. Sorry no sound, it's from the security camera. Though, I don't know that it even needs it.


How's that to get you through your Wednesday?  
So it was my little sister's birthday yesterday. the big 1-7. I feel like it's just 7, but whatever. We went go-karting all night at this joint up by my parent's house. Fun Fact (or perhaps not so fun) about Whitney #537 I rock at go-karting. 60% of the time, I win every time.  Last night though, those dang karts beat the crap out of me. I have serious bruises on the heels of both my hands and all up and down my spine.  That has never happened before and I was in serious pain all day today.  My birthday is in a month....is this just the product of me getting older? I feel as though 22 isn't "crippled" age yet...
Regardless of some serious sacrificing of the body, we had a blast.  I just love that kid.

New Pad!

Ok you guys, I snapped just a few pictures tonight when we stopped by our new place.  I'll get more later when it is more put together.
The beautiful ivy growing up the wall next to our door.
 The is the big ol' yard and the cherry/apple trees.
Behind me is even more yard and some gorgeous rose bushes.
Our kitchen.  Dying over how much counter space I have.
It makes me want to actually try something I have pinned on Pinterest. 
Um, World's Best Landlords? I'd say so.
 The chickens. They were surprisingly sociable. I think they just wanted food.
Can't blame 'em though.  That's usually the reason I'm so friendly.
 Coco the pony.  She's a brat apparently.
You guys, I'm dying. We only moved a small portion of all the crap we own into it tonight. And now our current place looks like a tornado tore through the living room.  We are going to take the next week or so to move in slowly.  I'm in love, though. I never want to live anywhere else.

All-Nighter

So I am at work right now.  Yep, it is 9 pm on a Sunday night, but you know what? I don't even care. I am even enjoying it.  I'm out on the back deck watching the sun set and drinking water that I put in my empty Redbull can.
I'm probably going to be here awhile, but that's cool.
So I had every intention of posting last night because I had an amazing day off.  First one in twelve days.  I love my job so much, but everyone needs a day off every now and then. We went to the temple with our best friend JJ and his family, 
had lunch at Texas Roadhouse and then walked around the mall for two hours even though I was feeling like I was about to barf.  We had a great time though.
This was me trying to be provocative next to J's broseph Spencer who just likes to show off his modeling skills. 
And just driving around with my boo. He's so sexy.
Flanders bought a model car yesterday and put it together in like 15 minutes flat, I wanted a picture to put on the ol bloggy because I was so impressed.  We tried so many times to get a good photo but we failed.  
"look how cool!"

"What kind of car is that?"

"hoes be jealous."

Clearly, we were meant for each other with our bad picture taking skills. Oh well. you get the point.

p.s. I  got Flanders to admit the cat helicopter is funny.  He says it's only because you all peer pressured him. Way to go everyone. :)

New Home!!

Flanders and I are at a stand still argument where neither of us are budging on our opinions.  So I'm throwing this one out there.  Who thinks this is funny, and who doesn't?

Some Danish dude's cat got hit by a car, so to honor him, he had him stuffed and made into a remote control helicopter.
Don't believe me? here is a picture.
and a video...

I think it's genius, Flanders thinks it's disrespectful. I say people mourn in different ways, he says this guy is seriously disturbed. I'm not saying that I would ever do it, I just think it's weirdly hilarious. What do you think?

On a separate note, Sexy F and I found a new apartment and we are freaking stoked. It has a pony and chickens and a rope swing and a cherry tree and..... THREE DOGS!! I'm freaking out. And the apartment is beautiful and I just want to live there right now.  We don't get to move in until next week, so I'll just be dreaming about it until then.  Before I got to see it, Landon was telling me about it over the phone.  This is how the convo went:

Flanders: They even have a Shetland pony.
Me: I'm only moving in on the condition that I actually get to ride the pony.
Flanders: ....I don't think adults can ride on ponies....
Me: is that a fat joke?

But even without being able to ride 18 year old Coco in the contract, I just love the place and I can't wait to move in. and- there is counter space in the bathroom so I don't have to keep all my bobby pins in the washing machine anymore. #doeslifegetbetterthanthis?

You've Reached Whitney's Blog....

I'm not here so please leave a message after the beep.

psych. there is no beep on this blog, but I really am not here today.  I'm finally breaking out of my blog-bubble and doing my first guest post over at Dusty's blog.  Go and check it out. It's like, one of the greatest blogs out there anyways. Here is her link!





Forgotten Birthday

.....so, it was my blog's first birthday yesterday....and I forgot. What a horrible Blog Mom I am. This justifies my fears of caring for actual children. So I got my blog a card.
and inside it reads:

dear bloggy,
I'm sorry I suck. But I did learn this song just for you.
It's "Happy Birthday" but I decided not to sing along after the 10th time filming it because I can't seem to not make a fool of my self when I open my mouth. I figured the "space alien" filter was much better than me singing anyways. So sing along in your head, like I did.
Happy Late Birthday Bloggeth Jingleheimer Street.
love, Blog Mom

also, I am just showing off my ukulele skills.

Sugar Daddy

Twas a successful day today. Worked all day long and hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday, BUT I used that as an excuse to go get a nice dinner with Sexy Flanders and go walk around the mall.  I really had only one intention of buying some new VS sparkle mist because mine is empty. Sadly, they didn't have the kind I love, but I still got some good stuff. Also, I got Mr. Flanders to buy us some shades from one of those obnoxious kiosks. Really, I just wanted to stop and look because I have been in the market for some new glasses when I threw mine gently on the grass and they exploded into a billion pieces. 100 points to my mom for somehow putting them back together.  But you know when you break something and you're sad because you loved it but then you're excited because you get to go shopping for a brand new something? That's how I was feeling.  So while I am stoked that my aviators are back from the dead, I still wanted to buy some more.  I told Flanders he was sexy in aviators and the short Asian man running the joint overheard and decided to not let us leave without buying something. I'm not mad though, we look great.
wow, even I'm attracted to me.
Don't worry though, we didn't stop there, I let Flanders take me into his favorite store (Hot Topic) to look at the t-shirts in there. After about ten minutes I couldn't handle the demon scream-o music anymore.  We left and I told him I wanted to go to the music store.  He wasn't too thrilled, but I said to him, I said, "Flanders, I went into hell with you, now you have to come look at sheet music with me." So he did. Next thing we know, five minutes have passed and I am completely sold on a ukulele. I'm easily swayed when it comes to instruments and I told Flanders earlier he had to buy me a present tonight because he keeps buying crap for himself. Apparently the sparkle spray and radical shades didn't count. My boss Justin told me the system to get Flanders to buy me what I wanted, it's genius, really.  I was going to try to put the plan into action, but Flanders got really excited about the ukulele.  He's been trying to find me a new hobby so I'll leave him alone. Our marriage is awesome.  It really is, though.
so now I'm jamming out on my new uke, I'll probably be up all night.
i love it. and my new shades.
holler.
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