I almost died on a treadmill

went to the gym last night. It was good. Until I got on the treadmill. I laugh when  people are like, "why pay to go to a gym to run in place, when you could run outside for free?" and I think, "it's because if I didn't have the constant threat of being thrown off a moving belt at a whopping 6.5 mph then I wouldn't do it."
So I was just planning on running a mile or two, you know, no marathon or anything and I was just about finished when a really fast-paced song came on so I turned up the pace to about 7.6 to match the beat of the song. I run pretty comfortably around a 6.5 mph on a treadmill so taking it up that much wasn't too difficult, but it was definitely a sprint to the finish pace, not a steady, I'm-gonna-run-like-this-for-the-next-hour pace. And just as the song was about over and I'm completely drenched in sweat, this guy was walking past my machine and stopped right in front of me and was all, "Hi! What's your name?" and I'm thinking, is he serious? I'm running my guts out, he can't possibly think I'm in the mood for small talk.
"Whitney." I panted.
"Whitney? I LOVE that name."
"Thank you?"
"So Whitney, how long have you been coming to this gym?"
"Um... about... two years or so."
"Really? So you live in Orem?"
"Lindon, actually."
"ohh, Lindon. Do you like it there?"
"...yeah. It's nice there."
"I bet. I like it over there."

you guys, I'm serious, I was about to fall down and let the stupid treadmill just shoot me off into someone behind me. And he just kept going. I couldn't understand for the life of me why he kept saying words to me. You see those girls at the gym in their hot work out clothes and their perfect hair and make up. I can understand why guys go up and talk and flirt with them. They're sexy. I'd do it too if I were them. But me, I'm there with my husband in baggy work out clothes and mascara running down my face because I'm sweating it all off. That didn't paint a pretty picture for you, did it. Trust me, it was worse in person. All while I'm running at a ridiculous speed for a lot longer than I intended. (if any of you think that 7.6 isn't fast, then...whatevs. I hate you. Only cause I wish I was you. and I don't really hate you.) I just didn't understand. Finally after an uncomfortably long small talk convo he walks off saying it was nice to meet me and he hopes to see me around more and I, for the first time ever, pulled that little emergency stop clip off on purpose and demanded to be taken home.

my legs are still jello.

nailed it.
but my question is:
does it count if you didn't look that cute at the beginning of it?


  1. It counts because you went to the gym. That counts for a lot.

    This guy sounds like a creeeeep.

    My theory about the gym is if I don't wear contacts or glasses, I can't see anyone. And if I can't see anyone, they can't see me making a fool out of myself.

  2. hahahahahaha. WTF?! Why would he had a convo with you while you're running?

  3. I almost died reading "7.6" holy mother girl, you're my idol. And gyms are not places to talk. Period. MO.

  4. This post kills me dead.
    It pretty much sounds like this guy would have "loved" anything you said...
    "Umm... i just got done taking a poop"
    "Oh me too! i love that!"

  5. this guy sounds like a REAL FREAKING CREEP.

    and i don't want to talk to anyone when im at the gym. i just want to get my shit done. and then leave and go home to eat ice cream.

  6. heck freakin yes it counts. p.s. 7.6? mucho impressed.

  7. That is pretty incredible. I would have had to hit the emergency stop button after 45 seconds. Then I would have glared at flirting dude. Because really??? Don't you know that the gym should not be used for social hour?

    You must be a MUCH better person that I am.

  8. I don't know how fast 7.6 is, but it is faster than my 0.0. I would flung sweat at him. Do that next time.

  9. you are so beautiful there is no doubt but honey it was the bouncing tits. just sayin'

  10. guys are just odd like that!
    however luv that picture, sharing it on Facebook - my one girlfriend went out and bought shit load of work out clothes im all like really dude only weirdos look pretty before a flipping workout


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