the rest of the story and weekend.

ok, so I was hoping no one was going to notice that I didn't come back later last night to finish the story behind my little sister's mouth full of blood. and I almost got away with it.  But at the last second, Kelsey called me out on it. But, I still decided to wait until this morning, because Land Shark and I went for a walk (aka we're geriatric) and now we're watching the Office. (aka losers) Ok, so the rest of the story.  well, we were playing Jack Pot with a football because Land Shark couldn't/can't run.  So my sister, mom and I were beating the crap out of each other trying to catch the football.  Then, all of the sudden, my brother brings out our (live action role playing) swords.  (They're duct-taped pool noodles on pvc pipes.) (We work out.)   My brother and sister start sword fighting and suddenly gang up on my mom.  She stole Mariah's sword so she ran into the garage to get another. Mariah comes running out of the garage and my mom swings the sword around and completely lays my sister down.  Smashes her face in.  Down for the count.  Funniest. Thing. Ever. Until she stood up and blood is dripping down her chin. And then I almost peed. Ok, I peed a little.   And that's it. That's how my sister got the bloody mouth.
The rest of the weekend was pretty awesome too.  On Friday, we went to the football game. 
we all wore different colors according to our sections.  It looked pretty cool.  and we won.  and by won, I mean there was a massacre on the field.  I actually pitied Hawaii.
On Saturday, my dad came down to Lindon and took Land Shark and me out for a night on the town for my birthday.  That was back in July. But, hey.  Nothing wrong with celebrating birthdays when it's not actually you're birthday.  I actually prefer it that way.
He took us to dinner, and bowling. Where we found out that I bowl wrong.  I didn't think that was possible because I was on a bowling team at one point in my life.  But Mr. Know-It-All-Land-Shark says I bowl wrong.
whatevs. I got a turkey. pretty much.
Two of my favorite dudes.
We made our way to the late show at Comedy Sportz where we laughed until we cried at the homeless Santa who's shirt was full of cat pelts and sucked at making up acronyms.
the show ended around midnight. and then we made my dad drive aaallll the way back home while Landy and I slept.  We're horrible people.
and he bought me stools for our apartment so we don't have to eat in bed anymore.  The crumbs were getting to be a problem.
yep. that about sums it all up.
we're kind of a weird bunch.  Sometimes I catch Land Shark with this look on his face like, "What the crap did I marry into?"
but then, he realizes his life is substantially more interesting with the Borders around.


  1. So, your family is dangerous. That's what you're saying? No, not dangerous. More like...awesome.

    And what's wrong with eating in bed?! Says the girl who would rule the world from her bed if it was possible.

  2. I think the highlight of that story is mostly that you almost peed your pants at your sisters pain. Priceless. Thank you for coming back and sharing the rest of your families crazy dis-function with us. Trust me, my family is just as crazy! :)

  3. More importantly, why do larping swords exist? Which one of you larps?!?!

  4. That pic of you and your dad is so cute! I'm the same way, I'd rather celebrate my bday on a random day too. And my brother in law used to do comedy sportz for years! love that place! And that's funny/sad about your sister. Funny though cause it was from your mom! Poor girl. haha.

  5. WAIT. i am obsessed with this idea of larp-ing. i want to role play. but i don't want to be the one with the bloody chin.

  6. i think i would just be a cheerleader during these festivities.


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