Would You Fall Down Stairs on Purpose to Get More Time with Sean?

So last night, to be able to catch the Bachelor on time, I had to go double time at the gym. I was running so hard I almost lost it on the tread mill.  And followed it up by an elliptical sesh that could have killed an 24 year old plow horse.  Did I just compare myself to a plow horse? Yes. Yes I did.

But- I did manage to make elliptical time more enjoyable by playing doodle jump while working out.  The dude next to me was awkwardly watching over my shoulder as and cheered for me when I got the jet pack.  It got weird so I shut down the multi-tasking.  Plus, it was time to get home to watch the Bachelor.

The episode started with Lindsay M. getting a one-on-one date with Sean where they broke the Guinness Book of World Record's longest on-screen kiss.  Which was a whopping 3 minutes and 16 seconds.  Maybe if they were in the back of the limo or in the hot tub like the other one-on-ones this would be ok.  But no, it's in front of a whole crowd in the middle of Hollywood where random strangers are cheering them on.

They might as well get the award for "The Most Awkward 3 Minute and 16 second Long Kiss."  You know, since we're just handing out world records here.  The date ended with Lindsay M. getting the rose and more private make out sesh.  I'll admit, I don't totally hate Lindsay M.

Speaking of girls I hate this season, which is basically all of them with the exception of Sarah with One Arm, but I mean come on, I think Sean "The Abs" Lowe got cheated this season.  Especially with Miss Tierra who throws herself down stairs to steal dates from other girls. What a hag.

too bad she didn't push herself down the stairs at the beginning of the season, then she could have an explanation behind the weird dent in her forehead.  The sneak peek into next week justifies the madness that is Tierra.  And it looks like a bunch of girls are about to tell on her.

Speaking of tattling:  Let us talk about Kacie B. sticking her nose into the lamest piece of "almost drama" in the entire show that results in her getting voted of Estrogen Island, shall we?  Ok, we can all agree that Amanda (the one who wore that really ugly yellow dress that one time) is weird and kind of spacey like she might be high a lot.  And sure, if Dez has a problem with her then let them deal with it.  Not only did he send Kacie B. home, but he friendzoned her right before he closed the limo door.  Shoulda stayed out of it Kacie B.  Ah well, see you on the next Bachelor, amiright?

We also lost the Ford Model who cried harder when she lost the volleyball game in the group date than when she didn't get a rose in the rose ceremony. And Tarynn, who I didn't even know was still on the show still.

And then there were 13....
tune in next week when all of their cycles synchronize and Sean is swallowed up in a sea of PMS lava.


  1. I'm almost glad I didn't watch because that kiss would have mortified me. Gross. PDA's weird me out, even tv ones.

  2. The guy at the gym sounds really crazy. Then again, I'm the psycho at the gym who compares herself to everyone else, and tries to turn it into a big huge competition.

    I refuse to comment on anything Bachelor related. Sorry.

  3. What a creeper. Phone screens are kinda little so he had to be right on you to watch. EEK. I'd throw myself down some stairs to get a little time with Luke Bryan...but that's it.

  4. All I have to say about this post is this - how the crap did you manage to play doodle jump while on the elliptical?? I would have fallen flat on my face. I mean, I know the elliptical machine is no treadmill, but still. I just don't have your skills.

  5. So my elliptical is begging me to be friends again. Do you think a peace offering of doodle jump would help? Because I am not feeling it like I feel feet on the floor and Zumba.

  6. I cannot multitask on the elliptical, plow horse. I would def fall and then die of laughter.


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