I Cannot Control my Eyebrow!

So I kind of got bored with the Bachelor recaps, and I find with most of you it's either a love or hate situation.  So instead of blogging them, I usually just verbally recap the episode to Landon, even though I know it's going right through one ear and out the other. BUT- this week's episode has by far surpassed any Bachelor/ette episode of all time.  And I couldn't pass up the opportunity to relive it.

all because of Tierra. (i.e. Tierrable, Tierrorist etc etc.)

It's no secret that the producers totally milk the dramatic one.  They need to for the ratings, but what came out of Tierra's mouth when she was finally confronting Ashley was priceless.  Ashley made a comment about how even her parents said she doesn't get along with other girls and how she is always glaring with her eyebrow raised skeptically and what not:
It must be the dent in her forehead that causes the spotty facial paralysis. Has to be.
Meanwhile, Sean is talking to his sister about the girls and begins to tell her about Tierra and how her name has been circulating through the entire show.  And her sister said, "Don't end up with the girl that no one likes." Prime Bachelor advice right there. But Sean is hesitant and says, "well, let me go get her so you can meet her."
After her blow out with Ashley and her spastic facial expressions, Sean comes in to fetch Tierra when he finds her crying in the hallway on her cot.
She tries to play the victim and claiming to have a "big heart" even though it's more like a venomous black hole.  And FINALLY the veil of Innocent Tierra is lifted off of Sean. And he sends her home.  I'm not ashamed to admit I slow clapped when she got in the minivan and drove off.
I CAN believe they did that to you, Tierra, and we all KNOW they got what they wanted. And so did America.
Tierra chose not to say goodbye to the girls, so they were expecting her to walk in with Sean and a rose in hand after working her manipulation, but were pleasantly surprised when he came in alone and bearing the good news.
And then he sent Lesley home. Even though they hold a world record together.  That means nothing to him.

But finally we are rid of Tierra.  And then there were four.

Here are my predictions:
Des: In the sneak peek for Hometown's her brother calls him out on being a "playboy" or whatever and it looks like they're about to throw down. I secretly hope they do.  I feel as though this will jeopardize their relationship because who wants a douche for a bro in law? no one.
Ashley: If Des isn't the next one sent home, then I think Ashley will be. She just doesn't seem to be into what Sean is into.  I love her, but I don't think the outdoors are really her thing and she seems like she might be just a little too high maintenance for him.
Catherine: I definitely think Catherine will make it to the final three AT LEAST.  And going back to Des, if she is sent home, then I think Catherine will make it to the final two.  Which leads me to think that she writes him that mysterious letter right before he proposes that was shown a few weeks ago in a sneak peek. And he is all, "whhhaaaa???" and it probably has something to do with that bogus line about "If Lesley isn't what Sean wants then I have no idea what he is looking for in a wife!" comment she made Monday night.
Lindsay: She is making it to top two. No questions asked. If it comes to her and Catherine, I think she will win.  If Des makes it to the top two, then honestly, I have no idea who will win. But that's assuming her douche baggery of a brother doesn't blow it for her.

And that will probably be my last Bachelor recap until the final rose.
Thanks for bearing with me as I got that off my chest.  Landon just didn't understand.


  1. I wish I watched...because this whole eyebrow situation sounds like amazing comic relief!

  2. I just don't like any of the final four! Des is probably my favorite but I really feel like she is above him. And then, I think 1 year down the road she would get really weird and clingy and then they'd just end up another failed Bachelor relationship. Whatevs.
    I personally think Ashlee is cray cray. She's hiding it for the show but she's the type that would move in with Sean and color organize his underwear. And that's creepy. I mean, she's a "professional organizer". Say whaaaa?

    And the other two...no, just now. They're like 16. Catherine acts like she's 12 and Lindsay...all they do is make out. She giggles too much too.

    HAHA! Not that you asked for my two cents but there it is!

  3. Oh my! I am sad now that I don't watch the show. Seems like quality entertainment. "I can't control my eyebrow!"?!?!?! I guess I would have had to watch the episode to understand, or maybe she just doesn't make sense anyway. Aren't Trista & Ryan the only couple from The Bachelor/ette still together? Ehhh... anyway, miss you! I hope everything is awesome in your world right now and Happy Valentine's Day! <3

  4. OK I love Tierra for the pure fact that she is bat shit crazy! I will miss her and her sparkle. Sad day. But I don't really think any of the 4 remaining girls are right for him. Obviously I know what the perfect girl would be for him because he and I are BFF's....But really, they've all got to be a little bit cray to still be sigining up for the show..

  5. I read this laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing. The minute I met Tierrorist herself (onscreen, I'm not insane) I said to my mom, "that girl is B****-Face just look at it, it's all over her face." boom. I was so right. BUT there is a girl in the top 20 of American Idol that looks just like her. Just like her. Freaks me right out of town.

    I'm devastated he sent Lesley home. She was the only one that was hysterical. I laughed at everything she said. and for the life of me I cannot figure out why he's kept Adolf around.. I mean Ashley. She scares the shit out of me, she's Stepmom-ish.. right? Totatally.

    And next week? He totally sends Des home, my second great love.. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH Lesley. In the previews a while back you see Des bawling saying, "i think he made a huge mistake.." and then I saw a clip yesterday of her ex showing up professing his love for her on the homedate. Stupid Des's ex. Ruins everything.

    So help me if he picks Adolf I'll call ABC myself and say something very important, what exactly.. i'm not sure but it will be important.


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