a poem:

Thinking instead of Sleeping


I want to make a terrarium-
I think it’s because I long for another Spring.
One I could keep in a bottle through the year;
Through the
heat waves
and falling leaves-
And when we’ve come full circle back to winter,
when trees are wrinkled and tired?
I can hold my bottle full of Spring.


and now I’m considering :
be    hind~
m       y
e         ar

A small one (that I could hide with hair) so
it’s only a small amount of pain.
Because God knows, I can’t take much more



I am missing a friend I’ve never met
It’s 2 am my time, and 4 am her’s.
Which means, she is two hours closer to meeting me
than I her.
That makes me jealous-
and makes me miss her immensely more.

(if you steal this poem, I will cut you)

Yesterday was Just One of Those Days

Only because it started with me trying to help a co-worker get a piece of paper he threw away on accident out the dumpster.  Well, that wasn't the bad part.  The bad part started from the day before where I made a smallish snag on the front of my work jeans on our fence.  I was planning on getting new pants anyway, I just needed them to last me one more day.  Fast forward to yesterday morning where I threw my leg up on a ledge of the dumpster only to hear a loud, "kkcchhrrrrrr" across my leg.  In between mending the tear and snap chatting Alissa about it, I had a moment to reflect on the incident and my whole life, really.

I had just ripped a huge hole in my jeans whilst I was DUMPSTER DIVING and mended them together with DUCT TAPE AND SAFETY PINS.

I don't know that it gets more redneck than that.

I haven't felt this dumb since the last pant-less situation I had at a dumpster.

And then, I managed to get away for about a half hour and hit up a Target to get some new pants.  Thought all was forgotten.  I had new jeans, my leg didn't look like a duct taped mummy... I had moved on.  And then later my boss was all, "I still can't believe you ripped your jeans dumpster diving."

And then I learned a life lesson:

Just because they stopped talking about it, doesn't mean they forgot.

Put THAT in your Friday Pipe and smoke it.

I know it sounds like I am complaining, this whole thing is actually really hilarious to me.  And I am lucky to have co-workers who are such great friends, even if most of the time they are teasing me. :)

It's sad how hard I tried to come up with a post today

And finally I said, "Landon, let me get a picture of your face."

So today, all I'm giving you is his epic handle-bar/soul-patch combo. Treat it well.

My husband is too school for cool.

all that's been on my mind

I made home made oreos the other day.  And it's all I want to eat.  I even took like 3/4 of them to the guys at work so I wouldn't be tempted to eat them all.  Don't think for a second that I haven't been all of the 1/4 that remained in the green Tupperware box on my kitchen counter.

if you want the recipe, here it is:

1 cup of magic
2 tablespoons of genius
1/2 cup of pure gangster rap
and 3 teaspoons of can't touch this

I really was thinking about giving y'all the recipe for them, but let's be honest, you don't come to my blog for recipes.  You come for the ridiculous amounts of wit and pure charisma.  Fact: I had to google charisma to see how to spell it.  Fact: I'm an English Major and I should know how to spell that word.

also, if you really do want the recipe for these little bits of heaven, message me.  They are super easy and they make you lots of friends.  Not that I really needed them.  These hooligans keep me pretty busy.

Tuesday night Google chats make Wednesdays seem less hopeless.

The Festival of Colors Rant

It's that time of year again. The Festival of Colors has come rolling around here in Utah County.  And news of this huge celebration has swept the nation and I know that TONS of you are wishing you could be here for it.  Well, don't. Stop.  Because it's not what it used to be.  The first year I went it was an experience.  We learned A TON about the Krishna Religion.  There was belly dancers, and speeches and we were taken through the temple and taught a lot about the history and religion.  There was over 10,000 people there that year.  It broke the record for the biggest Holi in the country.  When it was time to throw the colors, there was a witch in the center of us all that they lit on fire to represent the death of Winter and the throwing of the colors represented the coming of Spring.

The second year, I went with Landon.  The size of the crowds probably tripled and they had to break them up into two different throwings.  One on Saturday and one on Sunday.  It was still under control and a good time, but last year it was too much.  There were four different throwings over the weekend. High school kids, college kids, Junior High, dogs, babies, field trips.  There were TOO MANY PEOPLE.  Trying to control the crowds meant foregoing a lot of the other activities, because it had become all about throwing chalk so everyone could post their pictures of their colored faces.  But what really just killed me last year was this:

This is my sister and her friends next to the Krishna Temple.  But look behind them.  Those hand prints ALL OVER the same temple that they ask you to remove your shoes to enter out of respect.  It made me sick to my stomach to hear the leaders coming over the microphone begging people to not put their hand prints on the temple.  THOUSANDS of people were here at this celebration thrown by a religion that wasn't their own, the LEAST they could do was show a little respect to the grounds and the temple.

I'm not going this year.  I've had my fill.  Plus, I would like to remember the times that it wasn't about the instagram and Facebook pictures, but a learning experience and chance to bond with and understand people of a different religion.  

But I'm asking you, if you do go this year, please be respectful.
And have fun.  It really is a good time.

Photo Dump: Eshakti Spring Edition

Ok, so remember when that website called Eshakti.com hooked me up with THIS dress?  Well, guess what.  They just released their Spring line and they were cool enough to throw so more swag my way to show off their awesome clothes.  Which- I am all about that.

I'm not lying when I say it took me a couple days to finally decide on a dress because their Spring line is AMAZING.  But I finally settled on this lovely little sun dress with the flowers embroidered on the bottom.  

I am still SO blown away by how great this website is.  They offer sizes 0-36 OR you can just design the dress so perfectly for your body.  And the first time you put it on you know that it will never fit anyone as good as you.  I just, I get a little choked up over it. (just kidding.) (or am I?) (I am.)  And, AND it's always shipped in a very timely matter.  

Seriously, people, go to this website and pick up yourself a gorgeous Spring outfit.  I promise you will not be disappointed with your experience.  And you will LOVE any piece of clothing you buy from them.

In the meantime, enjoy the pictures of the dress I got.

I know it looks nice an spring-y out there. But there were three inches of snow on the ground that morning.  #trooper.

Photo Credit: Tracie Border

Friday Has A Lot to Live Up To

Even though it's Friday, and Friday automatically trumps any other day of the week; yesterday was pretty good to me.  The whiteout blizzard that hit gave me the chance to make my one and only snowman this winter complete with hard had and Granite safety vest:

 And when I got home, I had a package waiting for me from my favorite girl Alissa. Complete with my favorite flavors only and a bag of kitty treats for Tom Selleck:

Then to top it all off, Landon took my to a fancy-pantsy dinner at Tucanos with his co-workers and we ate WAY too much, hence why I look slightly pregnant:

What I'm saying here is, Friday has some pretty big shoes to fill after yesterday.
Y'all have a great weekend.

Oh Hey.

I don't even have a lot to say.  Because I'm running low on energy due to using what I have on Candy Crush. WHICH- I don't even like, but can't seem to stop playing.  And using more energy on freshly obtained seasons 1 AND 2 of Duck Dynasty which I DO like love. oh, and the last little bit of energy goes to keeping up with all you hooligans and getting rid of traces of dry-erase marker I'm still finding on my face.

praise the gods for Redbull and other highly caffeinated beverages.
oh, and just in case you were wondering, Cadbury Eggs CLEANED UP in the poll from Tuesday.
I keep eating both candy eggs and I'm having a serious internal struggle with which one I like more.  Because I really, truly can't tell you.
I just can't.

and if you got nothing left to do on your Thursday, go check out Alissa hazing the crap out of my commenters from the candy egg post.  she's pro at commenting on comments. commenting, commenting, COMMENTING!

and scene.

Which Egg- is Best?

It's been an on-going debate between bloggers on which candy egg this Easter is superior.  Is it (my personal favorite) the Cadbury Eggs? Or the less awesome and weird-shaped wannabe Hershey's Eggs?  I couldn't really hold an argument because I hadn't ever actually tried the Hershey's ones.  So it was time to put this debate to bed.  I recorded the decision making with Landon even though he doesn't really even like chocolate. I know, crazy.  I thought going into this relationship I could change him.

I'm curious.  What do you guys think?
Let's keep this battle alive.

Which Easter Candy Egg is best?

A Legend

So, this weekend was pretty great.  By that, I mean I started my Saturday shifts for the rest of the summer.  I offered to work in our portable lab on Saturdays since Landon is at work that day anyway.  Plus, it's all overtime.  Score.

Speaking of score, as in: musical score.  We went to Layton High's musical on Saturday.  They performed the play Curtains and totally nailed it!  Fun fact about my high school: we really only have one thing that we can brag about.  Our musical theatre program.  And that is because of the director Mr. Ferrin. And he is retiring this year, so it was very important to me to be there on closing night of his last production.  I LOVED being in theatre in high school.  I was never even remotely close to having a large role, I remained in the chorus all three years, but I will always look back on those plays as the highlight of my high school experience.  I have Mr. Ferrin to thank for all of that.  For seeing in me the Nubian slave my sophomore year:

 And the Third Class Passenger on the Titanic:

And the showgirl from the 20's my Senior year:

I got a little choked up as the audience all stood in unison and applauded the magic he had brought to the stage, yet again.  I know that I was just a chorus member in his career, and I don't think he would remember me, but that man- changed my life.  Not only did he give me a place to belong during those three crucial years of my teenage life, but he gave me a passion for the rest of my life.

What I wouldn't give to get on stage again.

A Internet Birthday Party

So, I could tell you why yesterday rocked. Or- I could show you.

We had a little Google Hangout for Michelle's birthday which is TODAY. So go say happy birthday to her.  Actually, sing it to her.  She'll love it.  It lasted about two hours and basically it was the best part of my week.  And I am convinced once again that I have some of the best friends on the internet.  

and then it turned Friday, and things got even better.  
y'all have a great weekend, k?

p.s. I'm not totally sure what is going on with this whole GFC disappearing?  But you can follow me on Bloglovin' if you want. Because apparently that will still be around? I dunno.

I hate change.

Safe Font

I had a blog post all typed up last night about a font my mom found on her computer called "Safe Font."  She came across it when she was trying to find a font to write the word "Vietnam" in for her homework.  She hadn't ever seen Safe Font before so she tried it out.
Turns out it's just letters formed out of cartoon c-o-n-d-o-m-s (I don't want that word to be a traffic source for my blog. ha!)  I thought it was so funny and had her send me my name written in the font so I could blog about it and when I got it, I was more disturbed than amused.  While still disgustingly hilarious to me, I couldn't bring myself to post it. So I'm going to take today's post in a different direction.

Yesterday, Kristen nominated me for the Liebster award.  She is just the best.
I actually got this award awhile ago, but I wanted to answer her questions anyway because that's so much better than my name written in c-o-n-d-o-m-s.

1.) What was your motivation for starting a blog?

It was actually supposed to just be a way for my family to keep up with mine and Landon's lives.  But guess what. It ended up being so much more than that, AND my family doesn't even read it!  Didn't see that coming.

2.) What is your favorite song by Queen?

I'm not trying to be cliche, but it's the Bohemian Rhapsody.  In fact, if you look at my blogger profile:

That song has brought many, many epic moments to the board in my life.  And I will forever be in it's debt.

3.) What is the best brand of lip balm?

oh gosh, uuuuuuummmmm probably....OH! Burt's Bees.  The minty kind.  Love that.

4.) If you could only wear one color for the rest of your life, what would you pick?

Turquoise. Because it makes me look tan. and because I believe everyone looks good in that color.  Or black. Cause you know... it's slimming.

5.) Jillian Michaels: Yes or No?

Well, as you all know, I've been fighting a losing battle against Tony Horton.  But honestly, I'm less afraid of him than Jillian Michaels.  I feel like Tony would put me out of my misery if I was dying, but Jillian? I think she would watch me suffer. And enjoy it.

So there are my answers.  Thanks Kristen for the nomination. :)

oh, and here is a throwback thursday for you, it wasn't that long ago, and it doesn't have a story.  It just made me really excited for summer.


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Making a Comeback

As I struggled to decide what to write about last night I got on iTunes to see if there was any good music out that I needed to add to the collection.  Did you guys know that David Bowie just released a new album? And Bon Jovi? And Eric Clapton.  Old guys are coming back.  I'm not a huge David Bowie fan, unless we are talking about The Labyrinth and this classic song that comes with it:

Other than that though, David just isn't really my cup of tea.  Sign me up for Bon Jovi though.  As I was basking in classic rock n' roll, I came upon a video of a student at Vanderbilt University who got the balls to request to accompany Billy Joel on the piano.  And magic happened.

Billy Joel is such a cool dude.  I went to his concert three years ago when he was here with Elton John. I wouldn't be mad if either of them came out with new albums.  Not that they need it....but I do.

the reaction Billy Joel gets from me.

How Does That Even Happen?

Good news.  Landon and I have internet again!!  Even though it came at the steep cost of being social and introducing ourselves to our new house mates.  Totally worth it in the end.

Here is a fun story about yesterday. And I'm not even kidding a little.
I was driving home from work yesterday and I was on the interstate listening to 97.1 minding my own business when a FREAKING SNAKE falls OUT OF THE SKY onto the hood of my truck!!

It slithered a little bit and I screamed bloody murder and slammed on the brakes and the snake flew off. And that was the last I saw of it.

A snake, you guys. fell on my truck. while I was driving at 75 miles per hour.
what are the odds?

My consensus?  A bird had picked it up, flown in the air and dropped it.
That- or snakes are learning to fly. Emphasis on learning. Because if that's the case, the snake I came in contact with wasn't very good at it.

I'm sticking with the douche bag bird theory, though.
I can't even.

You Can Take My Internet, But You Can't Take MY FREEDOM!!

Our Landlords moved out on Saturday and took their internet router with them.  So our wireless is under construction.  I'm hoping we will have it by tonight so I can waste three hours of my life on the Bachelor Finale.  And hopefully write a blog post on commercial breaks.

On a lighter note, it's one of my favorite blogger's birthday today! And she is without a doubt, thirty, flirty and thriving.  Head on over and wish her a happy birthday because she is the best. and she is my soul human. That's a thing.

Hot Dogs All Around. Cause That Makes Sense.

So, while you're reading this, chances are I'm up in the mountains shredding it up.  My boss was so awesome and let me cut work for probably the last day of boarding this season, so I gotta make it a good one. Even got our boards waxed up for optimum grindage.

Don't worry, I'm not going to start next week with another snowboarding vlog.  Speaking of vlogs, head over to Alissa's. I'm sure she has a treat for you. and by treat I mean noodle-speared wieners. But before you go, I leave you with this:

Your day just got better, didn't it?
Happy Friday poodles! see you on Monday.

Throwback: Most Embarrassing Moment Edition

So, I've been saving this story for awhile now.  And I think it's time it surfaced.  Because you all read this blog, I feel like you know me, it's about time you hear one of my "Most Embarrassing Moments." Mind you, I don't really get embarrassed per say, but it's one of those times when I guess I should have been.  You remember this picture? It was the night of UVU's Halloween dance back in 2009.

And ex-bf Douche Bag Chris was getting us back in the midst of our prank war.  This was his best btw.  He filled my room up to almost the ceiling with newspaper.  My bed sat really high, so you can see truly how much newspaper is in there.
Well, we got home from the dance around 1 am.  Sweaty and our togas barely in tact [note to self: NEVER make your own toga again] we find our rooms with all this newspaper.  It wasn't even one of those times where you sweep it off and say, "I'll clean it up in the morning."  It had to go that night.  With the amount of newspaper in the room, my dress and closet were completely buried. I kicked around the floor and found a mildly oversized t-shirt I could wear instead of trucking the newspaper back and forth in an amateur toga.  I could not however, find any sort of pants.  So I put on the shirt and was taking arm fulls of paper out to the dumpster.
My roommates were dying because they were like,
"What if someone sees you out by the dumpster without any pants on?"
And I'm like, "it's 2 in the morning.  No one is out there."
So again, I grabbed an arm full of newspaper and headed outside. I almost got to the dumpster and I heard male voices.  I considered the options:
1) run. but I couldn't run back towards my apartment because that's where the voices were coming from, and I didn't want to run further away because the possibility of seeing more people was becoming more real to me.
2) hide in or behind the dumpster. um, no. because diseases.
3) by the time I tried to think of a 3rd option the boys came into view, so I dropped all my newspaper and sat down in it, covering myself up.  They saw me, and started walking towards me.  Though for the record, if I saw someone sitting in a pile of newspaper at two o'clock in the morning next to a dumpster, I would just walk away. Seriously, I guarantee you if you see someone in that situation A: they are probably dangerous or B: they don't want to talk to you.
But alas, they walked right up to me and were like, "Are you ok?"
And I was all, "Yes..."
And then they are like, "what are you doing?"
and I was all, "I got pranked....and I'm not wearing pants...."
And then it was awkward.
They were like, "ok....bye...." and continued on their way.  But they kept looking back to see if I was still there.  And so I just sat there. On the asphalt in a pile of old newspaper in the middle of the night.

My life has been pretty much been uphill since that moment.

I Hate Tony Horton.

So Landon wanted me to clarify that he is NOT converting to Scientology.  He said to tell you guys he "just thought it was interesting."  So there goes my chances of getting to mingle with the crazy celebrities.  Oh well, I have back up plans as far as that goes.

In a last stitch effort to get ready for #operationbikini I have jumped back on the P90X bandwagon after Tony Horton maliciously threw me off of it a couple months ago.  And I am convinced that Tony Horton is going to be the bane of my existence.  In fact, he probably hangs out with Bane.

knew it.

He also tells me  that I can't have sweets.  And I thought that was pretty mean of him considering this is the ONLY time of the year Cadberry Candy Coated Chocolate Eggs are available.  He better be able to hold up his end of the bargain, because this kind of detox is not easy.

Stupid Tony Horton.

on a brighter note, remember when I reviewed a dress for eshakti? well I have a 20% off code for you good til March 20, 2013.  Use it at check out: THEMDDLEFT


So, yesterday Landon calls me up after spending the afternoon with his brother and going on class-required field trips to different religions and tells me he wants to convert to Scientology.  And in my head I'm thinking, "you didn't believe in all that already?"  Who knows, maybe here in a few months I'll be hobnobbing and rubbing elbows with John Travolta and Kristie Alley.

In all seriousness, he said it was really cool and that Tom Cruise gave it a bad name.
Which- there goes my dream of Landon jumping up and down on Oprah's couch proclaiming his love for me.  He had one job. ONE JOB.

meh. this will do.


So, this is the first Monday I haven't had a weekend vlog for you.  Probably because this weekend didn't involve snowboarding.  Friday, Landon took me to the range because one day he wants to buy a gun for me so we got an unlimited gun testing pass thing.  Turns out that wasn't the greatest idea, because the gun I ended up liking the most is a freaking $800 gun.  And Landon isn't someone who is going to buy me a gun that I don't love just to save oh, I don't know $400.  Love the guy, but kinda wish I didn't tell him I loved the P238.  Even though, look how cute!

Also, I'm a really great shot. boo yah.

Saturday was all about my cousin Bridger's baptism and getting in some quality family time.  And to see his little eight-year old self standing on a chair in front of his family being told how much we loved him and watching giant crocodile tears spill over his eyes when he realized just how much was very sweet. Kind of made my day.

Which I so desperately needed because when we got home from that, we finally buried Miss Scarlet in the garden out front and next to Mariah's frog Tadley.  It was a warm, sunny day and we wrapped her up in one of my shirts and laid her to rest.  And one little purple pansy was waiting in the garden for her.  It was perfect.

Sunday was just a lot of laying around.  Nothing epic to report.  A nice day of relaxation.  Got some rain.  And it just feels clean now.  The air. Everything. Perhaps a glimpse into Spring, maybe?


Let's Wrap this Week Up and Lock it in the Closet

ok so first things first: our Ski Bum Name winner from yesterday goes to Kana from The Ragin' Anchor not just for the name, but her comment that came with it.

Also, you should go to her blog and look at her awesome Neckbeard Hornbeast that she drew.  As if her pure wit wasn't enough.  She can draw awesomely weird mythical creatures.  Congrats on winning best Ski Bum Name/comment/my respect.

In other news, I think we can all be grateful that this week is finally over.  It has seemed to bring quite some heartache to some of us around blogland.  But hopefully it's nothing that a little weekend relaxation can't cure.  No boarding this weekend, so I think I'm going to focus on sleeping in and maybe learning a new song or two on my guitar.  aka this one.

I have loved this song for a few years now when I heard Old Crow Medicine Show do it.  And then suddenly I'm hearing Darius' voice singing it on the radio? I couldn't have been more excited.  Plus, I re-wrote the words to this song with my brother and sister for our parents one Christmas when none of us had any money.  And we recorded it in my uncle's car wash and put it on a CD, as well as singing it to them at our family Christmas party in front of everyone wearing pioneer clothes.  I tend to give the best gifts when I'm flat out broke.

Have a good weekend everyone! Get some sunshine time if you're in Utah.  Word on the street is we're hitting 50 this weekend.  aka break out the swimsuits!
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