In Which I Give You a Really Lame Life Story

Shay talked me into doing this challenge over at Story of My Life... Because for some reason, she thinks I have the ability to blog 31 days in a row.  Though, I will be honest, it's nice to have to prompts for once and take the pressure off my exhausted brain and it will unveil a lot about me.  So here it is.

Day 1, Wednesday: The story of your life in 250 words or less (or one paragraph... no one will be counting your words... probably)

My name is Whitney, and here is my life story in 250 words or less....

"I was born a poor black child...."
Not really, but after spending 20 minutes with me you'd know 67% of the words that come out of my mouth are from movies.  Does that make me unoriginal? Probably.

Ok, for real. I was born in 1990 in the same hospital room my older brother was.  I was basically bald until I was two years old.  I hated my Cabbage Patch Kid doll [named Grappy] because he would cry and instead of rocking him, like you were supposed to do, I'd bury his face in a pillow.  Which would explain maybe my lack of baby hunger to this day.  I lost all four of my top teeth at once when I was 9 and I strongly resembled Benjamin Button.  In Jr. High, I forged my mom's signature on my Sex Ed. homework so I wouldn't have to have "the talk."  My first boyfriend was deaf.  He gave me a hickey and I went through a whole bottle of concealer to cover it up.  Then in college I dated a guy who was 6'9 ONLY BECAUSE he was 6'9.  Also, I was not above going on dates just to get free dinner and a lot of the time it was the only reason I ate. I got fired from my second job.  I thought it was the worst thing that had ever happened to me, but looking back, I realize I would never have met Landon if I hadn't.  Then I met, wooed, dated, and married Landon.  Two years went by and then I cut bangs.  And that pretty much brings us to now.

in 234 words. bam.

While that may only scratch the surface of who I am, and completely skipped over some key points of why I am who I am, it's only because YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH.  Or I couldn't put it in a 250 word paragraph.  Also, some of it is still painful too talk about.  But maybe I will open up more with this challenge.  That's why I'm doing it after all.


  1. Actually brilliant!!


    Maybe even more brilliant.. I say this to my family all the time but they just dont get it.. losers!!!


    I vote for "Blog Every Day in February" know. The shortest month?

    Okay, I'll be back with a real comment once I read this.

  3. Loved this, you had me laughing away at my desk, thankfully I'm the only one in the office. I'm really enjoying reading all of these and seeing what people decide to say in 250 words, good luck with the challenge.

  4. I like your bio. It shines just like you. I got fired from my second job too. Thank gawwwwd. Now.

  5. I laughed so many times, and then my heart stopped with the final paragraph.

    Smothering babies, that's what I do. Name that almost movie.

    So glad you're doing this.


    I, too, was bald for a majority of my infancy. My nickname was cue ball because my head was so shiny and white that it looked like a cue ball. I'm totally serious.

    I can't wait to read this everyday!!!

  7. My sister didn't have hair until she was two. My dad and I called her Yoda. It made my mom cry.

  8. We both ended with BAM, haha! Except... I went way over 250 words. So, my BAM should have probably been "oops!"

  9. My favorite part is "two years went by then I cut bangs." Laughing out loud in my office at work!

  10. ...and then I cut bangs.

    This is gold. All of it.

  11. Tall boys - always well worth the climb. ;)

  12. "I was born a poor black child" CAN'T BREATHE.

    Funniest thing I've ever freaking read. I'm so glad I know you.

  13. Wasn't Landon supposed to woo you???

    Also, some of the similarities you and I have... I dated a guy who was 6'7". Mostly because he was so tall.


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