In Which I Struggle

Day 20, Monday: Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.

what am I struggling with? How dare she ask me something so personal.  Especially for one who freezes up like a deer blinded by high beams when confronted about my feelings. How dare she.

I'm struggling with a broken and conflicted heart.
I'm afraid that I might break the hearts of others who are so dear to me.
I'm scared to leave, but terrified of staying.  Of not being able to let go and move forward.
I'm struggling with telling you what is ailing my soul.  I just want to be here for you.  I don't want you to see me with tear stained cheeks in case you need me to be strong for you.  I want to be a smile you can count on, even if I can't count on one for me.  Because I'm braver for you than I am for myself.


Is that vague enough?  Good. Because that's another thing I have a hard time with.  Being...not...vague.

8 comments:

  1. you break my heart everyday I don't get to be with you! :)

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  2. I'll be brave for you. Anything you need, you know how to find me.

    Love you :)

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  3. You found a way to vaguely describe your struggles better than I could explain mine fully.

    You'll get there.

    :)

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  4. After reading that i just want to lean through the computer screens and give you a hug. As scary as it may be you need to let someone be there for you, be strong for you, you deserve that. It's great that you want to be that person for others but give someone the honour of being that person for you. x

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  5. You don't always have to be the brave one, I promise. Let yourself crumble a little bit. We will all be here to help pick you back up. xoxo.

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  6. I think a lot of us relate to being braver for others than we are for ourselves. I'm really good at giving advice that I myself don't take. Hugs! We've all got your back.

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  7. that was sufficiently vague. well done.

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  8. I love you, i love you, i love you.

    sometimes being the grown up.. oh my gosh.

    I'm still crossing my fingers I get to spend my day with you this weekend.

    ReplyDelete

No need to stalk in silence, leave a comment.
do it.

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