It's Been a Rough Morning

I got up early and found ANOTHER spider the size of New Jersey in my bathroom.  I was going to let him just chill there, but then he came after me. I had to run to get Landon to come kill it for me, but when we got back to the bathroom it was out of sight.  The rest of the time spent in the bathroom was excruciating.

Damn that spider. Damn him.

And then I got to work and immediately got a splinter the size of the spider the size of New Jersey in my hand.  I had to dig it out with a disposible "splinter remover."  That worked great, but now my hand stings.

Damn that splinter. Damn him.

On a brighter note, I bought an iPhone 4 off ebay yesterday. My world is looking up again.


  1. YAY for iPhones! I found a HUGE spider in my office yesterday and screamed at the top of my lungs. Then killed it.



  3. Iphones are awesome. Spiders and splinters? Not so much. I am super empathetic so you're stinging hand is causing a tinge in my palm. Ouch!

  4. a 'disposable splinter remover' im sorry, what?! is this a joke or a real thing. i need to know.
    oh and also im sorry about the spider. and the splinter. i effing HATE spiders and one joined me in the shower the other week, i genuinely considered just quitting my shower half way through, shampoo in my hair and all.

  5. "I'm from New familiar?" - DAILYGRACE.

    I'm still excited about the emojis. SO excited. Too excited.

  6. This reminded me of that children's story where the lady swallowed a fly and so on. With the spider the size of New Jersey, and the splinter the size of the spider the size of New Jersey. You should write a book.

  7. Many of the most damnable things seem to be approximately the size of New Jersey. This may not be mere coincidence. :P

  8. hahah "the size of New Jersey". My parents' house is next to forest preserves, so whenever i'm there in my old room, these mutant sized bugs start crawling out from time to time. one time i woke my dad up at 2 am to kill one haha. i wasn't even going to ATTEMPT to get in on that

    xo Marlen
    Messages on a Napkin

  9. I hope this one doesn't crap the bed too!

  10. Maybe your next place should not be a basement... the spider situation is a little ridiculous in a bad way, not in a "Harry Potter banish the scary things with laughter" sort of way.

    Splinters blow. Credit cards work great for removing them.


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