Please Stand By

I'm probably not going to be showing my face around these parts this week, since you know...I'll be out of town and all.  Do stay tuned though, social media will most likely be broadcasting our shenanigans.

In Three Days...

I will be on an airplane headed for Albany, New York.

I will be on my way to finally meet some of the greatest people I've never met in real life.

I will be spending a week with girls that have changed my life through the screens of my electronics.

I will be making memories that I will visit on my happiest days and in my darkest hours.

In three days, we will be REAL LIFE friends.  Not photoshopped into each other's photos.

In three days. Everything will be different. Like, good different.

Fire Fighters and Tangled Hair

I watched Chicago Fire last night, you know, instead of blogging.  I'm not even mad.

Also, I heard something on the tv in the background that said something along the lines of, "the only thing more annoying than conditioner that doesn't detangle your hair."  And I thought, I don't think there is anything that is more annoying than that.  In fact, probably some of the worst hissy fits I've thrown has been due to tangled hair.  I throw brushes when that happens.  And then the brushes break.  And that usually leads to disappointment tears and swearing.  I think that was one of the least expected things Landon has faced in our marriage.  He has no sisters, so he doesn't get bathroom drama.

So far, the worst conditioner for me is Treseme.  Anything else has done me well.  I like to stick with Dove or Herbal Essences.  Wow.  How about that for a tangent.  Meh.  I got fire fighters on the brain.

Snappy Snappy

So clearly I don't have a lot of time for social media during the day at work (making people think that I'm not actually going to visit them in a week).  But this weekend, I really took the time to snap chat people.  It all started Friday night when we went to The Tower (the oldest theater in the Salt Lake valley) at ten o'clock at night to watch the old version of Dawn of the Dead.  Which- might I add is the longest and most ridiculous zombie film I've ever seen.  I probably would have loved it more if it wasn't the middle of the night.  But what I was awake for was cracking me up.

ANYWAY. We left the theater just after midnight and still had an hour drive home at which point I hit the whole, "I'm not even tired anymore" phase, where everything is funny and nothing makes sense.  That is when a friend of mine started snap chatting me, and this is what she, and many others got in return.

Now don't think for a second that I think I look attractive in these.  Most of the time I was dealing with the ridiculous flash in the back seat of a car.  But I am proud of my artwork considering how difficult it is to draw with your finger and a limited amount of colors.  I think they could at least add on white and black.  That would help immensely in many artistic situations.  Oh, and you should add me on snap chat if we aren't friends already.  My username is whitneycalle.

and now I'll leave you with my personal favorite snap of the weekend:

We got the sister wives living somewhere around here.  I keep seeing groups of them at the grocery stores and gas stations.  I don't know how to talk to polygamists so I just sneakily take pictures of them and send it to all my friends.  #class

I've Fallen for Fall

Oh boy.  This weekend you guys, it was a BUSY. I'm finally settling down I feel like after a crazy summer of work.  You know, I'd get home and be super tired and I'd only want to spend weekends laying out by the pool and relaxing.  But now?  I dunno.  I'm just pumped to hang out with friends and go to football games and go shopping....

Ugh. Except for the shopping part... I went and dropped WAY MORE money than I ever wanted to on some new fall clothes for my trip to NY in a WEEK!!!  The chick who was helping me find pants and stuff just kept bringing me more and more clothes and.  I felt like I had a personal buyer.  I couldn't say no to the clothes.  I don't feel THAT guilty about it, because I don't remember the last time I went shopping, so I'm over due for new clothes. But man, that hurts the heart watching those little green numbers pop up on the screen and you're trying to figure out how you can survive on $3 for the rest of the week as you hand over your debit card.  Oh well, I'll look super fly, no one will know I'm super poor.

And along with the new clothes, I painted my nails again.  I'm actually getting pretty good at this who gel overlay stuff.  I'm starting to get a little more daring than just solid colors and a glittery accent nail.  I was super impressed with myself when I whipped out the leopard print.

I love this pink glaze color except for the fact that it is a little transparent so when I get dirt under my fingernails at work, you can see it.  So I just have to wash my hands a lot. Other than that, it's great.

And Saturday night, after we shopped we met up with all our friends at a sport's grill to watch the Utah game.  Landon won't ever cheer for Utah but right now he is hoping they come in 6th in the Pac 12 so they play BYU in the Fight Hunger Bowl.  He wants a chance at redemption.  The sheer thought of it gives me anxiety.  I don't know if Landon's heart can take another loss to Utah.  Whether or not that happens, we had a great time and unlike most of the rest of the state, some of our best friends are rivals.

The game started at 8 and went til about midnight.  I felt bad for our waiter who had to wait on us for four hours.  Jordyn and I actually dipped out around half time and hit up Target for awhile. 

Sunday, we played around in the leaves with the dog and breathed in the crisp, fall air.  I'm so happy it's still warm out so we can enjoy this weather.  And it's so much better this year because we are up in Heber Valley, I get to enjoy Autumn so much better up here than I did in Orem.

Those pumpkins didn't last the night though, it was only a couple hours until we went after them with a knife.  It was a little on the difficult side since we were using like, kitchen knives and not pumpkin carving knives, but I think mine turned out pretty ok.

Here is a fun tip:  If you are using a Sharpie to draw out the face you're going to carve and you carve inside the lines on accident?  Rubbing alcohol will take that right off.  YER WELCOME.

This has been one of the best Autumn's I've had in the last few years.  It might just be that I'm in an actual house for the first time in five years, and I'm finally out of that college town.  It's just way more cozy this year.  AND I get to spend a week of it in New York.  IN(clap)ONE(clap)WEEK(clap).


This was the sky yesterday.  Cloudless.  I took Shadow for a walk despite it being in the low 50's.  The sun was out, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky, and I figured there might not be many days like this ahead of us.  We got to the park about a mile down the road and I just went and laid down in the grass and looked straight up.  I found myself lost in a moment of nostalgia, because when I was little, like 3rd grade little, I used to love being able to look up in the sky and only see sky.  So much of it, that not even the trees or swing sets stood idly in my peripheral.

And I laid there as a child again, wind blowing through my messy braid. I could only see that airy, blue nothing.  And that was all I wanted to see. That's all I wanted to focus on.


We Love Jazz Games

My dad scored a whole bunch of tickets to the Utah Jazz vs Portland Trailblazers game last night.  Damian Lillard (plays for Portland) went to Weber State where my dad is a professor and they are like BFFs.  So we went to support the Jazz.  And Damian whenever he made a basket.  Which was actually a lot.  And of course spend quality time with family and friends. And also try to ignore blast from the past booty calls sitting five rows down.

That hair tho!! amirite? good times.

Elizabeth Smart's Story

So, I was at Wal-Mart yesterday buying frivolous things and as I was walking up to the cash register, the book Elizabeth Smart just came out with was on display.  I don't know if you guys remember the whole Elizabeth Smart sitch, it was 11 years ago and I don't know how big it was outside of Utah.  But basically, she was kidnapped out of her own bedroom in the middle of the night and lived 9 months with this deranged, disgusting, lower than the dust of the earth couple up in the mountains above Salt Lake City.  And for the winter months in California until they traveled back to Utah where she was found.  It was very sad, and I remember back when she was kidnapped I went to bed every night fearing that my own bed, in my own home wasn't as safe as I had once thought.  She was only a year or so older than me.  She was taken out of her bed with a knife to her throat. If that could happen to her?  It could happen to anyone.  And I remember the day she was found. All of Utah was celebrating.  I remember hearing that she could barely get into her own home because there was so many people on the streets and sidewalks cheering for her return.

ANYWAYS.  I bought the book.  It's about everything thing that she went through in the 9 months she was gone. I read it all last night.  And I don't think I've ever been so sad or cried so much throughout a book.  Usually, it's the endings that get me.  But this one had me in tears from the very beginning and through the whole thing.  It is so. heartbreaking.  Like- I don't even know what to say coming away from this story except wow.  Wow at what happened to her.  Wow at what she survived.  And Wowie Wow Wow at what she has become.

My Mom Goes to College

So last weekend my mom called me up at like, 9:45 at night asking if she could email me her essay for her application into the BFA program she was applying for.  She had to have it posted to her blog by midnight along with the rest of her portfolio.  I was at my friend's apartment (where they don't have internet) so I was like, "Yeah, send it to me and I'll read it on my phone and call you back with my notes."  But then her internet decided to crash or her email was refusing to work or whatever, anyway we were both getting super frustrated with the fact I wasn't getting the email.  And I thought maybe it was my phone's fault and it wasn't accepting the email... I dunno. I was panicking.  My mom was at the point of "I don't care anymore" because who knows how many hours she had put into all those projects and assembling her blog portfolio and had just hit "the wall" you know which one.  I was like, "No mom.  We are going to get your essay proof read!" So I called up my best friend Kayleigh and was like, "What are you doing right now?"  And she was all, "Watching re-runs of the Office. Why?"  And I was like, "I know it's late, but my mom needs someone to proof read her essay for her BFA application that is due at midnight."  And of course Kayleigh loves anything that has to do with proof reading and editing because she is a NERD.  And also the same likes of nerd that my mom is considering they're both like, graphic design/typography gurus.  So I was like, "Cool.  Give it a couple minutes and she will email it to you."  So I called my mom back and gave her Kayleigh's email address, but nothing in life is easy including sending an important email at 10:30 at night.  When all hope that an email might actually go out seemed lost, it finally hit me.

"Mom- I know your email isn't working, but could you maybe just publish it to your blog so Kayleigh can read it that way, and then she can send you her ideas and you go can go in and edit the post?"

"I don't know.... Let me see..."

And just like any feel good story, the last second epiphany worked like a charm.  Kayleigh was able to proof read (way better than I ever would have) and help my mom out with just enough time for her to make her final changes and submit everything with time to spare.

And yesterday I got this text:

I couldn't be more proud of her.  And maybe I'm living vicariously through her success because you know... I'm a five year college student over here. Major? Undecided.


My babys not having babies.

I got home from work yesterday and walked in the door where I'm usually greeted by jumps and licks from the Shad Man. But this time, he was slow to approach me, and when he finally got to me, he just pushed his dry nose against my hand and stood there like it had drained him of all the energy he had. I looked at him and could tell something was wrong and my mother in law was like, "Yeah... he's not feeling too good." And I became immediately worried, I thought he was super sick and I was like, "Why??" And she said, "He went to the vet today. Got all his shots up to date and he got neutered."

And then I understood his lethargic-ness. Sure, some of it was the anesthesia wearing off, but that dog was straight up depressed. I laid on the ground with his, petting him and loving on him, but the time came when the cone of shame was necessary. And the he lost all will to live. He won't eat or drink while he is wearing it and he barely walks because it catches on every drawer and wall he walks next to.

I keep trying to tell him it will get better. But I don't think he believes me.

Not even a little bit. #prayforshadow

How I know it's Autumn and why I like it

-I forgo my afternoons and evenings outside for 1 1/2 hour long bubble baths where I read, read, read.

-Football is on 5 days out of 7.  And that's not annoying to me anymore. (Landon, what have you done to meeeeee?)

-Don't come at me for this, but I DO NOT like pumpkin flavored anything.  Except pumpkin pie but it has to be super sweet with enough whipped cream to cover up any orange.  I DO, however, love anything apple flavored and scented.  Because it's crisp.  Just like the air and leaves outside.

-the leaves. duh.  I feel like I get to take in the colors so much more this year due to my commute that literally goes through the mountains for 55 minutes.  It's gorgeous and I love it.  Don't expect the same answer when the snow starts to fall though.  That drive is one of the most dangerous in Utah.  

-I'm comfortable wearing scarves again.  Because I don't really ever stop wearing scarves throughout the year, but from about May-September they are somewhat counter productive in the body heat department.  

-All my favorite tv shows are back on.  Even though I don't actually watch them on tv.  I usually download them and watch them all at once on the weekends.  But still, now I only have to go a week to find out what happens next instead of months.

-I have to start my truck in the morning about 20 minutes before I leave so the windshield is defrosted.  This is a love/hate thing though.  Because I have to go outside at like 5:30 am in my bathrobe and socks and it's freezing and dark and a little scary.  BUT- when it's time to go, my truck is toasty warm.

-FLEECE SHEETS.  Remember how I bought new sheets like- three weeks ago?  Well, we bought more from overstock like- one week ago.  They are thick, red fleece.  And they are so WARM!!  We sleep in the basement, so it's like, freezing down here all the time.  But with the new sheets I don't even care.  I'm so cozy tucked in tight between Landon and Shadow.

-Another remedy to the freezing basement is the wood burning stove.  We lit it a couple times last week, but then it got up into the high 70's again so we haven't had a fire for a few days.  But MM!! I love it when there's a fire roaring in there.

-Hot cocoa from 7 Eleven.  There is none better than the cocoa at Sev. 

The list goes on and on.  But I don't have to tell you, do I? Autumn is the blogger's season.

Why my dog is actually the worst.

Oh yeah. Remember this guy? My pride and joy, my reason for happiness on this pathetic planet? GUESS WHAT. I wanted kill him this morning. Because as I'm in the garage this morning at 5:55, about to leave for work, I go to put my work boots on. But there was only one boot.  I turn around search the floor and stairs for the other when Shadow comes walking in the garage door from outside. And then it hit me. Shadow took my boot.  I said in my scariest voice, "SHADOW! WHERE. IS. MY. OTHER. BOOT." He didn't answer me, instead he ran in the  opposite direction with his tail between his legs. He knew. Oh, that bastard knew.

 I slipped on my another shoe on my foot and grabbed my phone with its flashlight and stomped out to the front yard. I noticed Shadow's tail sticking out from behind the big flower pot in the garden. I didn't stop to berate him just yet though.   I had to find my other boot first and hopefully not be late for work.  I tromped around following all the dog prints in the snow for about five minutes when I finally found a boot shape under a thick white blanket of cold. The mutt took it out LAST NIGHT. It was frozen solid.

I looked at my phone and I still had a few minutes before I'd be late for work, so I whipped around with the ice boot in arm and yelled again, " SHADOOOOW. YOU. GET. OUT. HERE. NOW!!"  But he didn't get out here. He booked it back into the garage and I was on his heels. Around and around the the truck we went. He'd hear me coming one way and change his direction and I would too.  This went on for about a minute until I decided to try a different approach. I said in my sweetest puppy talk, "Shadow babes, come here sweetie." And I waited for him to slink out from behind the truck and crawl over to me when I lunged for him. He saw it coming through and dashed under the truck, but not fast enough. I grabbed his tail right before he disappeared under the vehicle and dragged him back out. And I stuck the snowy boot in his face and said, "YOU. ARE. A. BAD. DOG. BADDOG!!" And I spanked his butt before he ran back under the truck.

He knew. That bastard knew.

Why I've Sucked at Blogging this Week

BECAUSE I don't know.  Actually yes I do.  I've been really devoted to a book I was reading.  And I finished yesterday on my lunch break.  Also, I tried not to get tears on my turkey sub.  I have Amazon Prime, so you shipping, and streaming movies and tv shows and of course the option to borrow specially marked e-books.  Well, it's been hit and miss with the free books.  I've read a couple good ones, and just as many groaners.  But- last night, I got real crazy with the wallet and BOUGHT a book with my own husband's money.  FOUR DOLLARS.  I keep seeing this quote on pinterest:
And I decided it was mystified by it enough to buckle down and buy the damn thing.  You can bet that's what I'll be spending my weekend on.  That and running a 5k in the snow.  Kill me.

I'm glad I finished my food first.

Last night, we went out to dinner with some friends.  We ate our food and talked and laughed for about an hour or so, paid the tab and were just sitting there- digesting and talking some more.  When a lady came in and was seated in the booth right next to ours.

She was a- large woman.  She was alone, but she was very pleasant to her servers and they treated her as a usual customer.  She had been sitting twenty seconds til it hit us.  This smell. This horrible, horrible smell!  I thought at first I was the only who smelled it.  I thought maybe it was an entree that had gone wrong in the worst way. But it only got stronger as the seconds passed.  I looked over at Landon who's face had drained of color as his eyes darted around the room- searching.  And then he met mine and his eyes grew wide as he mouthed the words, "Is that her?!" and nodded his head in our new neighbor's direction.  I don't know!! I mouthed back and covered my nose and mouth immediately.  I looked to my friend on the other side of me.  She smelled it too.  And her husband.  And my friend and her husband on the other side of Landon.  All of us, stopped dead in our conversation because talking meant breathing.  Not two minutes had passed  since the lady had taken her seat before I started gagging.  Like, LITERALLYNOTFIGURATIVELY GAGGING!  Without even verbally agreeing to leaving the premises we all stood and vacated the building. All the while, I'm still dry heaving, even after the woman is far out of sight.

It was so bad you guys.  SO BAD.  Toxic.
And that is what you get from me on this Wednesday.

I do things

Good news, I have my laptop back. Bad news.  I still don't have a lot to talk about.  I mean, I've been up to stuff.  Like laughing at Landon's expense when he had to wear a University of Utah jersey to the BYU game on Friday.  For those of you who don't know- Utah and BYU are HUGE rivals.  Like, it's unhealthy how mean everyone is to each other.  I dunno.  I'm relatively new to this whole deal, so the hatred in my blood isn't nearly as poisonous as the rest of the state, but yeah.  Wearing red to a BYU game is a death wish.

After we took this photo, I taped two signs to his chest and back that said, "I lost a bet!" and after that the rays of cancer-causing hate subsided and people were really nice to him.  There was a lot of, "it's ok man, we've all been there." comments.  And- BYU won that game, so who knows.  Maybe wearing a Ute's jersey is good luck.  Except we saw a guy die, so it probably isn't. I'm still a little shook up over that.

Saturday night, we went to our favorite comedy show: Comedy Sportz with our friends.  I know I say this every time, but that- is the funniest crap in Utah county.  I don't even know how many times I've been in the last five years of my life.  But every time, I'm reduced to tears.

And Sunday, spent at my cousin's house where we celebrated everyone's birthdays since June, made many slow motion videos on Landon's new phone and played basketball until it was time to go home.  Let the record show, I beat Landon. Twice.

See? I do things.
There was an error in this gadget