Detox.

So listen, I got roped into doing this thing called the Whole30.  (Ok, so I didn't get roped into it.  I volunteered.  It sounded like a good idea at the time.)  Anyway, the Whole30 is basically a program where you go thirty days without consuming sugar, bread, dairy, or....love, really.  And not just that, but like, no processed foods or crap, basically.  Really it's just a more strict version of a Paleo diet because you can't even make Paleo friendly desserts.

I'm only a couple days in, and my body thinks it's dying apparently.  I think this is what detox is like for addicts.  I straight up started to cry yesterday because I tried twice to make home made mayo and wasted $6 of extra light olive oil.  I followed the instructions to a T and it wouldn't thicken up.  And I had my boiled eggs sitting on the counter because I really wanted deviled eggs.  And when the Whole30 friendly mayo recipe wasn't working out. I sat down in front of my eggs and started to cry.

And then it seemed like my whole world was going to end.  And as I lay there face down on the counter with tears collecting beneath me, Landon had the audacity to look up from his plate of BBQ RIBS AND MASHED POTATOES and ask me what's wrong.

I just looked at him and said through my crocodile tears, "I just wanted deviled eggs."

It may have been the lowest moment in my life.  How pathetic I must have looked.  Now that it's the morning and I look back, I'm super shocked with myself.  It seemed so huge last night, and I'm kind of embarrassed.  And I don't think it's about to get easier.  I think it's going to get substantially harder.  So wish me luck.

and when the thirty days is up, I'm having a party. With chips.  And probably deviled eggs with normal mayo that has processed fats and refined sugar.  You're all invited.

6 comments:

  1. This sounds like a nightmare. I considered (for about 30 seconds) giving up dairy for Lent and then I was like....I'm not strong enough to do that.

    GOOD LUCK!!! <3

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  2. BE REAL. is it even worth it? i keep contemplating doing it but i just can't bring myself to do it.

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  3. i have been toying with the whole30 idea but i know at some point i will end up in tears too. and it would be over something as delish as deviled eggs. why are they so good?!

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  4. you are a brave soul. a brave, brave soul. I hope you for one like kale. (unlike that Shaylynn girl.)

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  5. You are far braver than I would or could EVER be. So good for you!!

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  6. I have never been brave enough to try Whole 30. So proud of you for giving it a go!!!!

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