So, I'm on like day 4ish of this Whole30 and I think it's making me pretty moody. Not just angry, but really dramatic. I mean, this whole week has brought many emotions, some great some horrible. But aside from my sister getting her call, I think I can pin point it to basically giving up sugar and caffeine and processed foods cold turkey. It's making normal everyday problems and worries seem HUGE. And my whole world is coming to an end. And yesterday at lunch, I was so sick of the food I've been eating I didn't even finish it. I've lost my appetite if it isn't 100% grape juice or zucchini. And it's very possible I finish the rest of this thing just consuming those two things. And I say finish it, because yesterday when I couldn't eat my lunch I was just like, "Screw it. I'm quitting this thing tonight." And I planned the rest of the day how I was going to go home and eat a piece of cheese and I was so excited about it.
Until I got home.
I opened the fridge and stared at this massive block of cheddar cheese from Costco and I just couldn't do it. I looked at the tub of sour cream and thought about the burrito I could put it on- that would satisfy me. And I still couldn't do it. I'm only four days into this thing, not 20. But I felt like if I quit now I would just throw away all this progress I'm making. (Even though it feels like Satan and not progress.) I think the first week is supposed to be the hardest and I'm already halfway through it and still alive. So I reached down and grabbed another zucchini closed the refrigerator and walked away.
I'm not saying that I might break in this process. Because I can't hardly look at boiled eggs anymore. But I felt a little liberated by not eating the cheese. Like hey- maybe I do have the self control to do this. So yeah. That's how I'm feeling right now. Not great, but not at giving up status anymore.
Hopefully the weekend doesn't do me in.