I interrupt this radio silence to bring you a conversation that I just had with my mom on the phone that is too long for me to write down in my quote book and I deemed worthy to actually dust off (literally, I work in a mine, remember? There is dirt EVERYWHERE.) my keyboard and type out a post.
We were just having our normal morning conversation when she was about to hang up to go into work when I said, "Wait- did you get that email about our half marathon?" And she said, "No, I haven't checked my email in a couple days, what did it say?" And then I told her that they were sending out a beginner and an intermediate training schedule for it, but you had to go to their link to request it. She told me she was glad I let her know and that I would be proud of her because she had been going to the gym these last few days. "But..." she said, "I've had a couple bad experiences too."
"What do you mean, 'bad experiences?'" I asked, hesitantly.
"Well, a couple days ago we were doing this work out that you could either do while in the downward dog position or- if you wanted more of a challenge then you put your feet up on the wall instead. Well, I tried it in downward dog and that was way too easy, so I went over to the wall, but there was this chest on the floor against it and I tried to put my feet above it and the lid flipped open, hit me in the stomach and I totally scorpioned!" (which is a term used in snowboarding or wakeboarding that means you faceplant and your feet come backwards over your head resembling a scorpion tail. It's great.) The mental image of my MOM in that position in her work's gym had me in tears. I could barely gasp for air between giggles. I was not nearly composed enough before she continued,
"AND THEN- the next day I was standing near this man who was putting weights on a dumbbell, and he only had them on one side and he went to pick it up, but the heavy side stayed on the floor and the light side flew up really fast and...for a second....I felt like I was riding a Nimbus 2000."
That was it. I was on the floor. The filthy, soot everywhere, with traces of WD-40 and oil FLOOR.
I was choking for air and starting to sweat. My safety glasses were fogged up and my co-workers were starting to gather around me, clearly trying to decide if they needed to break out the defibrillator. I rolled onto my back to reveal the phone I had to my ear and waved them away as I tried to compose myself enough to sit up. While my mom is still laughing just as hard on the other line and follows up with,
"So I think I'm going to take a break from the gym today."
And I validated her decision. Body contortion and riding dumbbell broomsticks really takes it out of you. Recovery days are definitely in order.
my mom, everybody.