*Screams Internally*

First of all, I just want to say thanks to everyone who sent me such sweet messages on Tuesday.  The support I felt from all of you helped immensely.  I can honestly say that I've never been so sad in my entire life.  I have still cried about the whole thing at least once a day since, but it's getting easier.  Tuesday at work though was just- a nightmare.  I literally couldn't speak to anybody about anything even if it wasn't about Tukae without tears spilling over.  I made each one of my co-workers feel so uncomfortable that nobody talked to me after I cried at them.  Which, I'll be honest, I was totally okay with.  I didn't want to talk to anyone.

So on top of losing my pup, I've been buried under a mountain of homework and final projects and my sanity has gone completely out the window.  I find myself cursing my decision to go back to school nightly.  Last night, I literally went for a stress run at 11:00 PM.  And I had been on a 5 mile stress run about five hours earlier.  Last week, I just kept telling myself, "I just need to make it to the end of the week." And that carried over to this week, and will continue into next week.  Like, that's what my life has turned into- "I just need to make it to the end of the week."

Seriously considering exchanging my round trip flight to Hawaii for a one-way and just never come back.  Working full time (soon to be overtime) and going to school full time is a nightmare.

Remember how they gave me an award for a positive attitude?  No one knows why.

I just need to make it to the end of next week.

2 comments:

  1. At least you're putting your stress into something productive and healthy (running) unlike myself, who at the first sign of stress reaches for my snuggie and carbohydrates.

    Keep kicking ass, Whit!! Thinking of you!! xoxoxo

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  2. I am in this same headspace as well. I finally had to throw my hands in the air and tell my family I was taking the summer off from school. They all seemed overly relieved. I can't blame them. I'm working on this paper that is eating my soul right now. Like, this paper must think my soul tastes like Cinnamon Toast Crunch, it is so voraciously consuming me.

    You can do this. Breathe. Do yoga. Cry. It's all good.

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